《Remember Thee》 - 免费有声读物

THE BRUNSWICK CLUB.

A letter having been addressed to a very distinguished personage, requesting him to become the Patron of this Orange Club, a polite answer was forthwith returned, of which we have been fortunate enough to obtain a copy.

Brimstone-hall, September 1, 1828.

Private,—Lord Belzebub presents
To the Brunswick Club his compliments.
And much regrets to say that he
Can not at present their Patron be.
In stating this, Lord Belzebub
Assures on his honor the Brunswick Club,
That 'tisn't from any lukewarm lack
Of zeal or fire he thus holds back—
As even Lord Coal himself is not[1]
For the Orange party more red-hot:
But the truth is, still their Club affords
A somewhat decenter show of Lords,
And on its list of members gets
A few less rubbishy Baronets,
Lord Belzebub must beg to be
Excused from keeping such company.

Who the devil, he humbly begs to know,
Are Lord Glandine, and Lord Dunlo?
Or who, with a grain of sense, would go
To sit and be bored by Lord Mayo?
What living creature—except his nurse—
For Lord Mountcashel cares a curse,
Or think 'twould matter if Lord Muskerry
Were 'tother side of the Stygian ferry?
Breathes there a man in Dublin town,
Who'd give but half of half-a-crown
To save from drowning my Lord Rathdowne,
Or who wouldn't also gladly hustle in
Lords Roden, Bandon, Cole and Jocelyn?
In short, tho' from his tenderest years,
Accustomed to all sorts of Peers,
Lord Belzebub much questions whether
He ever yet saw mixt together
As 'twere in one capacious tub.
Such a mess of noble silly-bub
As the twenty Peers of the Brunswick Club.
'Tis therefore impossible that Lord B.
Could stoop to such society,
Thinking, he owns (tho' no great prig),
For one in his station 'twere infra dig.
But he begs to propose, in the interim
(Till they find some properer Peers for him),
His Highness of Cumberland, as Sub
To take his place at the Brunswick Club—
Begging, meanwhile, himself to dub
Their obedient servant,
  BELZEBUB.

It luckily happens, the Royal Duke
Resembles so much, in air and look,
The head of the Belzebub family,
That few can any difference see;
Which makes him of course the better suit
To serve as Lord B.'s substitute.

[1] Usually written Cole.