The Derelict - Free Audiobook

CELLS

  I've a head like a concertina:  I've a tongue like a button-stick:
  I've a mouth like an old potato, and I'm more than a little sick,
  But I've had my fun o' the Corp'ral's Guard:  I've made the cinders fly,
  And I'm here in the Clink for a thundering drink
            and blacking the Corporal's eye.
      With a second-hand overcoat under my head,
      And a beautiful view of the yard,
    O it's pack-drill for me and a fortnight's C.B.
      For “drunk and resisting the Guard!”
       Mad drunk and resisting the Guard —
      'Strewth, but I socked it them hard!
    So it's pack-drill for me and a fortnight's C.B.
      For “drunk and resisting the Guard.”

  I started o' canteen porter, I finished o' canteen beer,
  But a dose o' gin that a mate slipped in, it was that that brought me here.
  'Twas that and an extry double Guard that rubbed my nose in the dirt;
  But I fell away with the Corp'ral's stock
            and the best of the Corp'ral's shirt.

  I left my cap in a public-house, my boots in the public road,
  And Lord knows where, and I don't care, my belt and my tunic goed;
  They'll stop my pay, they'll cut away the stripes I used to wear,
  But I left my mark on the Corp'ral's face, and I think he'll keep it there!

  My wife she cries on the barrack-gate, my kid in the barrack-yard,
  It ain't that I mind the Ord'ly room — it's that that cuts so hard.
  I'll take my oath before them both that I will sure abstain,
  But as soon as I'm in with a mate and gin, I know I'll do it again!
      With a second-hand overcoat under my head,
      And a beautiful view of the yard,
    Yes, it's pack-drill for me and a fortnight's C.B.
      For “drunk and resisting the Guard!”
       Mad drunk and resisting the Guard —
      'Strewth, but I socked it them hard!
    So it's pack-drill for me and a fortnight's C.B.
      For “drunk and resisting the Guard.”