Love's Labour's Lost (version 2) - Free Audiobook

000 Scene VII. The forest.

AYLI II. 7 A table set out. Enter Duke senior, Amiens, and Lords like outlaws.

Duke S. I think he be transform’d into a beast;

For I can no where find him like a man.

First Lord. My lord, he is but even now gone hence:

Here was he merry, hearing of a song.

005 Duke S. If he, compact of jars, grow musical,

We shall have shortly discord in the spheres.

Go, seek him: tell him I would speak with him.

Enter Jaques.

First Lord. He saves my labour by his own approach.

Duke S. Why, how now, monsieur! what a life is this,

010 That your poor friends must woo your company?

What, you look merrily!

Jaq. A fool, a fool! I met a fool i’ the forest,

013 A motley fool; a miserable world!

As I do live by food, I met a fool;

015 Who laid him down and bask’d him in the sun,

And rail’d on Lady Fortune in good terms,

In good set terms, and yet a motley fool.

‘Good morrow, fool,’ quoth I. ‘No, sir,’ quoth he,

‘Call me not fool till heaven hath sent me fortune:’

020 And then he drew a dial from his poke,

And, looking on it with lack-lustre eye,

Says very wisely, ‘It is ten o’clock:

Thus we may see,’ quoth he, ‘how the world wags:

’Tis but an hour ago since it was nine;

025 And after one hour more ’twill be eleven;

And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe,

And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot;

And thereby hangs a tale.’ When I did hear

The motley fool thus moral on the time,

030 My lungs began to crow like chanticleer,

031 That fools should be so deep-contemplative;

And I did laugh sans intermission

An hour by his dial. O noble fool!

034 A worthy fool! Motley’s the only wear.

035 Duke S. What fool is this?

Jaq. O worthy fool! One that hath been a courtier,

And says, if ladies be but young and fair,

They have the gift to know it: and in his brain,

Which is as dry as the remainder biscuit

040 After a voyage, he hath strange places cramm’d

With observation, the which he vents

In mangled forms. O that I were a fool!

I am ambitious for a motley coat.

Duke S. Thou shalt have one.

Jaq.

It is my only suit;

045 Provided that you weed your better judgements

Of all opinion that grows rank in them

That I am wise. I must have liberty

Withal, as large a charter as the wind,

To blow on whom I please; for so fools have;

050 And they that are most galled with my folly,

They most must laugh. And why, sir, must they so?

The ‘why’ is plain as way to parish church:

053 He that a fool doth very wisely hit

054 Doth very foolishly, although he smart,

055 Not to seem senseless of the bob: if not,

056 The wise man’s folly is anatomized

Even by the squandering glances of the fool.

Invest me in my motley; give me leave

To speak my mind, and I will through and through

060 Cleanse the foul body of the infected world,

If they will patiently receive my medicine.

Duke S. Fie on thee! I can tell what thou wouldst do.

Jaq. What, for a counter, would I do but good?

064 Duke S. Most mischievous foul sin, in chiding sin:

065 For thou thyself hast been a libertine,

066 As sensual as the brutish sting itself;

And all the embossed sores and headed evils,

That thou with license of free foot hast caught,

Wouldst thou disgorge into the general world.

070 Jaq. Why, who cries out on pride,

That can therein tax any private party?

Doth it not flow as hugely as the sea,

073 Till that the weary very means do ebb?

What woman in the city do I name,

075 When that I say the city-woman bears

The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders?

Who can come in and say that I mean her,

When such a one as she such is her neighbour?

Or what is he of basest function,

080 That says his bravery is not of my cost,

Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits

His folly to the mettle of my speech?

083 There then; how then? what then? Let me see wherein

My tongue hath wrong’d him: if it do him right,

085 Then he hath wrong’d himself; if he be free,

Why then my taxing like a wild-goose flies,

087 Unclaim’d of any man. But who comes here?

Enter Orlando, with his sword drawn.

Orl. Forbear, and eat no more.

Jaq.

Why, I have eat none yet.

Orl. Nor shalt not, till necessity be served.

090 Jaq. Of what kind should this cock come of?

Duke S. Art thou thus bolden’d, man, by thy distress,

Or else a rude despiser of good manners,

That in civility thou seem’st so empty?

Orl. You touch’d my vein at first: the thorny point

095 Of bare distress hath ta’en from me the show

Of smooth civility: yet am I inland bred

And know some nurture. But forbear, I say:

He dies that touches any of this fruit

Till I and my affairs are answered.

100 Jaq. An you will not be answered with reason, I must die.

102 Duke S. What would you have? Your gentleness shall force,

More than your force move us to gentleness.

Orl. I almost die for food; and let me have it.

105 Duke S. Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.

Orl. Speak you so gently? Pardon me, I pray you:

I thought that all things had been savage here;

And therefore put I on the countenance

109 Of stern commandment. But whate’er you are

110 That in this desert inaccessible,

Under the shade of melancholy boughs,

Lose and neglect the creeping hours of time;

If ever you have look’d on better days,

If ever been where bells have knoll’d to church,

115 If ever sat at any good man’s feast,

If ever from your eyelids wiped a tear

And know what ’tis to pity and be pitied,

Let gentleness my strong enforcement be:

119 In the which hope I blush, and hide my sword.

120 Duke S. True is it that we have seen better days,

And have with holy bell been knoll’d to church

And sat at good men’s feasts and wiped our eyes

Of drops that sacred pity hath engender’d:

And therefore sit you down in gentleness

125 And take upon command what help we have

That to your wanting may be minister’d.

Orl. Then but forbear your food a little while,

Whiles, like a doe, I go to find my fawn

And give it food. There is an old poor man,

130 Who after me hath many a weary step

Limp’d in pure love: till he be first sufficed,

132 Oppress’d with two weak evils, age and hunger,

I will not touch a bit.

Duke S.

Go find him out,

And we will nothing waste till you return.

135 Orl. I thank ye; and be blest for your good comfort! [Exit.

Duke S. Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy:

This wide and universal theatre

Presents more woeful pageants than the scene

139 Wherein we play in.

Jaq.

All the world’s a stage,

140 And all the men and women merely players:

141 They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

143 His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,

Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.

145 Then the whining school-boy, with his satchel

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad

Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,

150 Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,

Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon lined,

155 With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instances;

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,

160 His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide

161 For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

165 Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans every thing.

Re-enter Orlando, with Adam.

167 Duke S. Welcome. Set down your venerable burthen,

And let him feed.

Orl. I thank you most for him.

Adam.

So had you need:

170 I scarce can speak to thank you for myself.

Duke S. Welcome; fall to: I will not trouble you

As yet, to question you about your fortunes.

Give us some music; and, good cousin, sing.

Song.

174 Ami.

Blow, blow, thou winter wind,

175 Thou art not so unkind

As man’s ingratitude;

Thy tooth is not so keen,

178 Because thou art not seen,

Although thy breath be rude.

180 Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly:

Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:

182 Then, heigh-ho, the holly!

This life is most jolly.

184 Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky

185 That dost not bite so nigh

As benefits forgot:

Though thou the waters warp,

Thy sting is not so sharp

189 As friend remember’d not.

190 Heigh-ho! sing, &c.

Duke S. If that you were the good Sir Rowland’s son,

As you have whisper’d faithfully you were,

And as mine eye doth his effigies witness

Most truly limn’d and living in your face,

195 Be truly welcome hither: I am the Duke

That loved your father: the residue of your fortune,

Go to my cave and tell me. Good old man,

198 Thou art right welcome as thy master is.

Support him by the arm. Give me your hand,

200 And let me all your fortunes understand. [Exeunt.